Wednesday, 14 January 2009

Fat, ugly, stupid.

Currently I'm fat, ugly and stupid.

I mean, I'm not fat fat. I'm not even chubby fat. I'm not even fat. I'm just...fat. Fat as in having gained a couple of centimetres on the waist. Fat as in 'where the fudge did my muscles go and what is that blubbery, squishy thing that has taken their place?'-fat.

When it comes to ugly the best things is to describe myself. Here it goes and this is what I honestly see when I look in the mirror: I see a long face, bad skin, pimples, bags under my eyes, bushy, big, BLACK eyebrows, mediocre lips, big, misshaped nose, unsymmetrical greyish-green eyes. Did I forget something? Oh, that's right! My hair. Originally a mousy brown/dark blonde kind of mix, now redish and way, WAY too long (down to my shoulders). And I'm yellow. How can I be yellow? Then there is the smile. I have freekish teeth, I swear. Fangs, too much gums, small front teeth. (Yes, this was something I had a complex about when I was a child). Sometimes I think I'm pretty though. In certain light I like how I look. I'm original, I must say. I've never seen anyone who looks quite like me, and I don't hate myself that much so I can't comlain actually.

And then there is the stupid part. Yes. On top of it all I'm also stupid. I mean, I'm smart enough to understand that I'm stupid, unlike some people. But, yeah, I am. I mean, okay, I study at the university. I've got like...190 point so far. But that's my point; not all are finished courses! I need to get that damn bachelors essay done before I can finish and I don't eve know what my educatio will leed to and...and...

...actually...is this normal of a 22 year old woman?
...on the other hand, isn't this what almost everyone think about themselves?

//Camilla...a normal girl?

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