Updates, notes on boys, and other facts...

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I laughed out loud at Cam's last post. I'm sorry to say. Then I got worried, and text stalked her, but my phone claimed it was broke.
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My bank claims I'm broke too tho, so I suppose they've got some sort of point.

Anyways, the reason I've ventured out is the sudden need to vent. Again. Plus, heck, it's a fairly anonymous blog, why shouldn't I? Ppl might get some enjoyment from my crazy ass life at this point. Or I'll just sell the soap rights later on...

1) I had a crazy dream about boys, all kinds of em, all muddled up and confused in my head. Unfortunately this included some ppl that got muddled up that should never ever be muddled into that type of situation. Think I may have thrown up in said dream too, so must've been somewhat conscious of the crazyness. Now, that sounds bad, but it's not really. I'm just... Not going into it.

2) Went on a road trip. With a boy. No feelings attached, just friends. Everyone told me I was naive and should be ready for something different. I told them to shut up. ... A week later I told them to shut up again, for very different reasons. We're still friends tho, but god knows what it's with boys and hand holding. Personal space ppl, personal space!

3) A boy made me cry! This is actually shocking and good news, even if there is an odd sort of achy but fluffy feeling somewhere in my chest. It sort of feels a little like my head is spinning, and I sort of loose my breath when I think about it too hard, and it's quite annoying. But anyways- story goes something like this:

Boy and girl meet, bumping into each other with common interests. Girl listens and boy talks, then other way around. Boy walks girl to bus stop, girl misses her bus and ends up talking to boy for an hour and a half...

Boy texts girl and says 'hey, do you want to get coffee someday.' Someday comes around, and boy gives girl a movie. Says 'you've gotta see this.'

The weeks pass, and boy & girl watch movies and eat pizza. He makes food and she buys chocolate, and they giggle at David Lynch. She gets lost in a book shop, and boy finds her there, says it's ok if she wants to stroll around for hours. She does. He does too... Boy kisses girl. Girl blushes, and kisses boy back. Girl doesn't run away, because it feels just comfortably right when he holds her hand.

Weeks keep passing. Boy and girl become good friends. She gets lost on the beach, far off in her head, and he comes out and plays her an album to distract, and then says "I've got all the time in the world, you're telling me what's wrong. I'm not goin anywhere, I'll annoy it outta you if I have to." She does after a lot of annoying. He nods, and listens. Doesn't comment or say 'it'll be ok'. Weeks later he's still asking subtle questions each day to make sure she's okay.

Then girl gets confused. Boy is moving out of the country at a date that was always determined. Another boy asks girl to go have a drink. Upset girl says yes. Upset girl wonders why she can't fall in love with the boy, or have any stormy crushing feelings about him. Upset girl barely remembers to listen to the new boy over drinks. She spends the next day laying in the first boy's arms, and playing tv games. Life feels just right.

Boy says he loves waking up next to girl. Girl wonders what she's doing. Why she misses him, but it's never a desperate ache. Girl meets another boy who whisks up those swirly emotions. Girl feels a rush and tells the original boy she can't go around kissing him anymore. It'll hurt too much when he leaves. He says he misses her.

A week later girl comes back from a road trip. She asks when the original boy is leaving. In two days. She suddenly can't breath.

Boy and girl meet. They eat pizza and watch a movie. Boy kisses girl, and girl blushes and kisses him back. Sweet and sour. Bittersweet farewell. He watches her with deep eyes and a slight smile.

"Here" he says, and gives her a book. She looks at it and realizes it's the one. That book she's been pining for that was just too over priced almost a month ago. Inside a short scribble says it's hers now. Then a poster. That poster she always watched as it hung above his bed. Every night and every morning boy and girl spent together.

Girl hugs him goodbye and wonders what that pounding in her vein is all about. Boy says he's never met anyone like the girl. She intrigued him. He says they'll see each other again. She says definitely, they'll be such good friends. She wonders why she can't believe it. She wonders if he does.

Boy walks away, but he stops at the street corner, looks back at her, she can't stop looking.

Girl cries. Girl is crying a day later. Girl lays down in bed and watches the poster. And the band clings around her wrist.

Thank you for remining me of how hopeful life is, how great friendship can bloom from nowhere and sweep you away. Thank you for reminding me you never know what you've got til it's gone. Thank you for showing me a boy can treat you like his friend and blow your mind away at the same time.

Thank you for caring for me as your friend, not your girl, but kissing me as both. You have no idea what a difference you made, maybe one day you'll know... I'll miss you babe!

xo xo

Peach

PS. I want to remember all the bad times, all the annoying moments, the small things, the big things, the things that hurt the most... But I can't, I doubt I ever will. I'll just miss you with a pleasant buzz that always reminds me of these two plus months... Thank you!