The P-word

P.O.R.N.

That's the one. And in a more complete context 'what to do when you walk in on your coleagues watching porn when you're getting lunch?' Well, number one is of course to mock them shamelessly. Number two, play on their slightly guilty feelings. And number three, when they start noticing you're a girl talking to them in the same room as the porn tv, and start kinda staring at you, back away slowly, maintain eye contact, continue mocking IN HEAD.

...

Oh, the love of work. So far today I have also learnt I am about ten years behind in studies, regardless of the the University diploma on the wall says... or, ehm, I put it up there at one point and now it's hidden somewhere behind the postcard-collection.

Anyways, reading 'the Producer's Blueprint', wondering what on earth to do with the script and the red marker pen, and feeling slightly guilty over the fact that I may have just cost a 'friend' a few grand... Uhm. Loyalty issues anyone? What to do when the occassionally creepy guy you sorta hang out with on occassion cause you're sorta friends coudn't care less about the freelance job you got your boss to give him and said boss then asks 'what do you think of this mess?'

Normally I'd say 'shove it'. But instead, today, I said 'well, it's hard to say as I have a personal relationship outside of work with this guy. But no, I wouldn't hire him to my own company if I ever had one.'

I feel a massive Karma backlash coming on from that one.

xo Peaches

Dominatrix & the red fluffy handcuffs

Peaches here...

I feel like I should, at some point, re-evaluate some part of my life since these stories seem to pop up too frequently and too randomly. And by 'these stories' I mean all the insane things that come out of people's mouths (including my own).

So today's conversation pick -

Him "You know, I could picture you as a dominatrix."

Me "Please don't picture me. At all."

Him "Yep, can't you (waves at colleague)"

That guy "Yup!"

Him "See? (proud)"

Peaches "...Yes, well now that you've found my secret part time job... Whatever gave it away, the pictures, the handcuffs, the intense sarcasm?"

Him "Well, handcuffs mostly."

Peaches... "... (dammit) Right, you.. uhm... actually knew about those. Aaaanyways, lovely salad today!"


(*Him just so happens to be one of the people I work for on a very random lunch-break conversation.)

Is it just me this happens to continuously?

Anyways, off to enjoy cereal (the non-soggy kind) and some bad TV. Today also involved getting flu-jabs (me and then five 60+ers), throwing things at (!) the postman, and sugar-spiking tea. Oh, and chocolate chip cookies for lunch.

xoxo
Peaches

the simple things in life - beer+evening+post-work=?

There are so many bad things that can come from beer. So many good ones too, but probably a fair few more bad ones.

Anyways. Peaches here, who decided to ignore the extreeme zombie-like tiredness and head out for post-work drinks with non-colleagues (it's called being a friend! Or networking! Or maybe a bit of both...).

So we decided to hit up a Pub instead of an insanely expensive resturant as we are both skint due to crappy economy, bosses, and problems with Borders (the proximity to so many books at the moment).

One beer, then another, and some fries. Not to bad, right? Watching darkness hit, moan and bitch about work, money, love, and laughing about the sinking ship outside (parked in the harbour, a tourism boat very tentatively named 'Unbreakable').

So the bill gets paid, we decide to head home in reasonable time, and up I go.


Never sit that close to a dark wall and stand up too fast, in front of the whole room and waitressing staff (picking up your fries plate as you go) without looking first. There could be a very badly positioned shelf there. You could knock it down with your head, make the candle fall off, land in the half empty coffee cup, which spills onto your friend, who tries to back away to avoid it, and stumbles against the waitress and by mistake grabs her boobs, and she shrieks, and all of a sudden the manager is waving a spoon at us and yelling in Scottish.

Either way, it was a rather nice evening, quite enjoyable in fact! Now my headache is more even too!! :)

xoxo

Peaches

Soggy Cereal to be banned!

Scratch the previous list!

On top shall be banning all soggy cereal! I mean, come on now, surely a cuppa tea and the fact that you momentarily forgot where you were does not mean the damn cereal bowl is allowed to sog!

So back to the original plan, when domination is achieved non-soggy cereal shall be invented, and all sogging cereal shall be put on the shelf next to the VEGETABLES! That's right, those strange multi-colored things your mother said were good for you (she of course lied, as you shall to your children while stashing secret jelly beans or chocolate swirls in the top kitchen drawer)!

Who's with me? (see post below Camilla!)
xoxo

Peach

New directions

Hello all (yes, I am referring to the two of you who accidentally, or potentially under threat of violence, wound up staring at these words)

So as 'There's something wrong' has been up and away for sometime now without much effort in it (really) I thought we ought to try a bit of a different direction. Something slightly more honest perhaps...

So without further ado, I have decided to share with you some of my plans of world dominance (Ben&Jerry will be 'Sir'ed, cookie dough shall rule, and Led Zeppelin will decide to suddenly sell certain songs to my little self for use on TV very cheaply... Oh, and Draco will of course have hesitated with that wand waving business due to his intense feelings of grief for Aragog the spider (they were very close, regardless of what JK divulges).

Aside from that, I feel that as we are attempting to be honest and sharing, because this whole blog business is about sharing and caring, correct? Well, anyhow, I think we should just be quite upfront. Both myself and Camilla.... well, this is actually rather hard to say... Well, you see, we are not what you would perhaps refer to as 'sane'.

Or 'normal'. Or 'politically or socially correct'.

In fact we both tend to speak with characters in our heads (or is that just me? I'm sure she said somethin about it!), yell at people who dare approach our bucket of ice cream, and we both enjoy running... after other crazy people, while cursing and, in Camilla's case, sending killer-dogs to... well, you know. Maul you by LICKIN YOUR FACE OFF!

See? It's a totally brilliant plan! Now, as for the goal of this week! To find out why exactly kids have super energy, and how to harvest it and sell on the black market to fund our Ice cream world domination fund. And purchase Samos.

Not the island... And it's not for me ;).

xoxo

peach