Happy New Year!!

Resolutions & Stuff... That should be the title, but happy new years sounds so much more... festive and stuff!

Okay, so basically, it's been an upside-down year, with a lot of amazing things and a lot of not great moments. Over all, it's been educational, and to sum it up I wouldn't really want to trade it. I'd want to change so much, but since the time machine has yet to be invented (and it'd just mess thins up in the end)...

So, lessons learned? Home is where the heart is, no matter where in the world you may be at the time. And life is beautiful, and chances are worth taking, because sometimes they pay off. And if nothing else, you'll have more peace in your heart if you go after whatever it is that's making your butterflies jump (career/family/friends/romantically-wise). I can't believe how far everyone's come. I'm so proud of my family and my friends (shut up, I'm having a chick-flick moment!) for everything they've done, and everything I know they'll still accomplish.

It's amazing how distance really does make the heart grow fonder, and after some time you start wonderin what's really important in life. I moved this year, 1285 miles (or 2068 km) away from what used to be home. According to google maps, that's about a 22 hour drive. It makes your think, about a lot of things. I also learnt that kids only grow up once (duh douche), and that it really makes all the difference in the world what you do with those precious moments you spend with them. Remember when they used to say 'kids are the future' and talk about us? Hah, new generation's come and made us old! But anyways :). I learned that my slight problem with staying put isn't going to go away before I figure out how and where to make the pieces fall together. They just haven't quite yet, but I'm ok with that. Work in progress dammit!

Oh, and it's worth chasing after your dreams. Otherwise, you might just end up regretting something, and that's quite a burden to bear... Then again, sometimes your dream changes, and gets split in two vastly different geographical locations. Or three... Turns out you might not be the only one moving around. :)

So enough of my lame babbling (but hey, the title WAS 'there's something wrong...' you'd think you would've thought it through). I'm sure Camilla's got something quirky and philosophical to add! First, new years resolutions though...

Uhm... Well, you're not supposed to say them out loud are you? I'm thinking sharing them with the world counts! But I've got one or two, so... yay.

Love ya'll! Stay safe (that means no fire crackers into each other's eyes, it's such a bad idea, trust me), happy, and keep dreaming big. And remember the people you love like to be reminded of that... You never know when you won't have a chance to tell em again. Oooh! And spread the holiday magic (yes, I stubbornly refuse to believe there is none, despite all evidence of the contrary!)

<3<3<3<3<3<3


Ps. *waves fist* Camilla! You mentioned the cookie club! You must now paaaaay *snatches chocolate chips*

UuuUuuuHhuu...

My brain is escaping through my nose...like...in a way, WAY too violent way...

Oh, and you know the cookie club *gets struck by lightning*

Camilla out.

Cookie club!

There are three rules of Cookie club....

Rule number one, you do not talk about cookie club!

Rule number two. You do not TALK about cookie club.

Rule number three... You. Do. Not. stop eating cookies because Cosmo told you to!




...


Oh, and, just to clarify this for everybody- YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT COOKIE CLUB. There, happy now?

love

Peaches

Pressure

It is too much, that's what it is. Just way, WAY too much.

And what do I mean by that, you might wonder? Yes, pressure. There is too much pressure to do stuff that can't be done while the world is constantly working against you and forcing you down into the never-ending pit of darkness where you live. Deeper and deeper down you go until, finally, one day when you've forgotten what the light looks like. Then it's fine, then you can live in the pit, it's okay, you manage, it's fine.

But I don't want to be "fine". It's not okay, it just isn't.

Are you following me?

Are you getting what I'm saying?

I'm having one of those days when you remember the light so clearly and long for it so badly that you only want to lay down and die. Well, sort of. Don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal, I'm really not. There's just something wrong with me. But I do feel like doing something else...

And...eh, I gotta go now before I go too deep into it!

/Camilla out.

Back-and-forth

People fall down like fall leaves, but like spring flowers they crawl up again. From the deepest pits of crap and hell fire, we always have a tendency to pick ourselves up from the worst of messes. Still, it doesn't mean its easy, or even always doable. It's a wierd wierd feelin when you think about how non-invincible we are, and how innocent some dreams of the future really are.

How things like money and age and timing, and where you're thrown into this circus of life, how they all affect the chances we've got for the future... Or how hard it is to push through all that and just focus on what you want. Because there're pleanty of distractions in the way, not in the least oneself. And dark cold nights of thinking too much...

What, over-thinking much? I have NO idea what you're talking about...

Did I mention I'm on a fruit 'diet', which basically means I eat a lot of fruit, and actually make those three meals a day. I'll blame all that fruity-vitaminy-ness for any wackness on here.

Bthw, CONGRATULATIONS to Camilla for being a grand winner of this years Nanowrimo, I'm so proud! And she didn't just score the word count, she actually took something great she had planned out and dreamed up in her head, and brought it onto paper to share with the world, and from what I've had the privvy to read, it's great...

Mark my words, one day this gal will change the world. In big ways. You better see it coming ;)

xo
Peaches

Nanowrimo

Yes, bitches; I won. You can send congratulation money to me, I'll accept it. I'm not above charity. And yes; my dinner consisted of a grilled sandwich while my friends all have some social kind of network going on. Very sad. Very sad for me.

I'm gonna no now...you know, go and be sad somewhere else.

And by the way, I have just figured out one thing; I might be screwed up (I really am), but some people are more screwed up then me. And I'm not talking about Peaches here...

Camilla signing out.

Starry nights & lattes

Hey guys

Peaches here... Been thinking a little about this whole structure thing of writing. Nanowrimo is in full swing, causing random bursts of word-craze here and there, which I've gotta say is both inspiring and daunting. Makes you think of all those half/un-finished pieces taking up space on the hard-drive. Not to mention the paper trails under the desk...

I've been thinking about development techniques. The hardest part about coming to the ending, for me, is getting a proper grip on the whole story-line. I'm a little bit of a damaged perfectionist, I have to understand the meaning behind every word, every action, my characters take. I want to know their issues, their inhibitions, what drives and what breaks them. So I figured, why not analyse it. You have a story in your head, but you are not completely certain of how it is going to play out, or if your answers are the right ones, or complex enough to reflect this 'reality'.

So, with a latte (extra whip! Extra I tell you! if you can't get chocolate sprinkles on it...) at my side, and country music-meets Kanye something-or-other playing on the cafe` radio, I started doing a report. Remember English class in school, when you had to read all those ancient novels and figure out the deeper meaning and reflect on them? Well, turns out there might have been a point to it. Cause I've got less than two pages of notes, but I think I've cracked the arch of the story.

So tip of the day, take a step back from the actual agonizing process of trying to write all the pussle pieces together, and just consider the work as it lays in your head. As a reader, as the audience member, what speaks to you? What problems and solutions are reflected in the storyline? What paralells can be drawn? What questionmarks are answered, and why are some left behind?

Now, I've gotta go back to Lorelie (yes, my computer has a name, no mocking required), and fight out some more word wars with Camilla... She's beating me senseless in nanowrimo bthw, awesome awesome lady!

*throws chocolate *

/Peaches

Real

So, sleep deprived and with that odd pit-fall feeling in my stomach, the one you get when you are so far past exhausted it just gets riddiculous. Like, you know, falling asleep at the train station. In. You know. Major hectic cities.

...Aaanyways...

Just wanted to put this out there tonight, before the stroke of midnight turns us into another day of hope and misery.

Hope dangles on a string

Etched to these walls

it lingers amidst sin and pain and

love

.

far away your voice is an echo

of the past, the future a distant page untouched

.

Hope looks ahead

silver chains shattering like frozen rain

.

whatever comes beyond this moment will be

.

but hope dangles on a string

so thin it becomes us

thick enough to endure

.

Somedays you want nothing more than the clock to pause and halt the un pending changes that await us around the corner. Life strolls along, smiling at the good and the bad and inevitably we do to...

Didn't mean to get philosophical. Exhausted, drained, shattered, remember? Plus chocolate... I'll just, be over there *points * in the bed.

cheesecake

Peaches

Cookie!

Camilla again.

I just cheated my way through The Great Gatsby and have now finally gotten home, eaten two eggs and shall soon start on my second cookie.
When I left home his morning I have a blackout. Seriously.
It's like my body is telling me that I need sleep or something.

...seriously.

And the damn person in charge of the economics of the church where our painting group assemble every Tuesday is evil and insits on using big words which go right over my head. I don't dig that.

And Peaches, doll; If you get home without telling me so, of course my first thought is that something like that has happened. Do you not know me?

'Breaking news'

Peaches here mateys...

So I came home from work this evening, and found this little note from Camilla sitting in my inbox:

Girl dies in horrible boating accident
Peaches, or von Wuttenberger as she was called by her close ones,
were this evening found crushed by a boat in the middle of London.
Sources say she was still at work in the desolate area in the South of
England at 7pm this evening, but then her actions are unaccounted
for. How she got there is a mystery for the police. Her parents and
friends say she was a gentle, thought highly sexually frustrated girl.

I think that did all the work in the gym section, I mean five minutes of rolling on the floor laughing must count for some calories/muscle builders right?

Maybe it is just more of an inside thing. Maybe normal people just do not appreciate our insanity the same way we do. Or perhaps we’re just too far out of the circle of social normality to realize we’ve gone coko for coco puffs.

Speaking of which, most embarrassing moment of the last six months-award was just topped.
When your boss actually walks in and asks about those handcuffs... you know you’re in trouble. Especially if said fluffy hand cuffs are currently hidden under your desk, while their existence is slowly becoming a rather epic horror/comic story. I presume there will be more digs about them to come, but frankly I can only blush so much and am now done with it! Damn you Camilla, how I love your wacky ways!!!

Now, about that sexual frustration?

Peaches

P.S. I will still bring the key ( I presume they will be lent out at some point), and the bottle still holds until then... sorry love, it’s too good a story to pass up on. & what Cam said in the last post, if anyone wants to shed some light on... eh? the thoughts behind thinspiration?!!?

...I...I don't get it.

So I was researching (googling) pregnancy for my nanowrimo text. I mean, she just had sex, but I've got to be prepared. Needed to know how pregnant women looked in the early stages, like, during their first and second month. Then I read about some women not even realizing that they're pregnant until they're about to give birth and by that I recalled an episode from the Ricky Lake show which I saw...well it has got to be at least 10 years ago now. It was about teenage pregnancies and I know there was this girl who was really skinny and had managed to gain only 2½ kg during hers (if this is even possible).

Never mind...

Well, it ended with me googling 'anorectic' and I managed to find this:
http://nya.bloggis.se/holly/70429

WTF? Thinspiration?!

//Camilla
(Could someone maybe shine some light on this? Explain it so that I might be able to understand how these people think? Is that even possible?)

P nods head...and screams

So got back to work this morning... After a few days off after making long to-do lists for the guys. Piles were still there. Hair on head remains. Mostly because the day was survived by thoughts of keyboards (how sad is that?), hand cuffs in the mail, and that idea of Steven Spielberg being rejected from USC.

Because, really, that makes anybody feel just a little bit better.

And about the ignorance, yes Camilla. it. is. too. late.

On the other hand, think about how much fun it is to actually know these things, i.e. you can actually realize some fraction of all the reasons out there to panic and grow overly depressed, addicted to chocolate, and kill printers?

Oh and another thing... For info on how to... save... some of the printers in the world from assistant rage black outs, check out 'Hollywood assistant's handbook, 86 rulesfor aspiring power players' by Hillary Stamm and Peter Nowalk. It's hilarious, sarcastic, packed with great feel good and hysteric material, and lists... Because who can resist lists? It also confirms Tarantino's thoughts of 'Blockbuster is my university.' Amen darling, amen...

kisses and such

Peaches ;)

Thoughts from miss C

You know what? I'm starting to think that maybe ignorance IS bliss.

Just think about it; Not having to think about other people, not having anything to worry about and absolutely not thinking about ones own feelings.
Just living the life of just another stupid blonde.
Living each day in a routine and trying to fit in to society as a model citizen.

...ehm, I would probably crack after a couple of hours. There's just too much me going around here...

It's too late for me to try and acquire this ignorance. It...is...just...too...late...

Ey! And gooeyness

Okay, Peaches here...

And first of all let me clarify one... two... a couple of things. One, Camilla is an amazing friend. She tells you those little things you need to hear like "dude, get the f@ck out and get milk cause you need to get laid." And of course knows how to mind-game you into doing exactly that regardless of your excellent reasonings not to... because, really, think about this. Computer and ice cream for a night in vs. gooey eyed boy in the grocery store...

Yes. He has gooey eyes. I hate the damned gooey things. I hate the girly little thingy whispering in the... my... ehrm... head. It's annoying, and he's just a pretty little puppy thing and then I will visciously dump him and carry on being the "wound up bitch" (quote per 40yr old whom I did not allow to buy me Whiskey). I can add "with serious committment issues" to that. But nevermind.

I went. I saw. I made very snarky and fairly cool (i.e. he might not have noticed the riddiculous creeping blush and the way I stared at his lips) comments, got my milk, and left. See, goal achieved. Not, to throw some things back. 1. I am so not falling into the little compartment of girlieness which includes but is not limited to constant swooning, making 'awh' noises (I will stop it soon enough), or pouting while wearing too much make up in the hopes he'll unbotton his shirt for the world...

... mmm..

Oh, no right... No. Not happening. Just a tinsy bit of sexual frustration here, nothing more. Now, abt miss Camilla here... Bastard's been creative and productive and is coming close to going way way past the 50,000 word count mark this month. Remember those annoying ppl who got things done and could put 'The end' signs on things I yapped about earlier? *points * There, there's one of them... Love her though, and am counting the days til I can see her (and secretly steal her hard drive).

Is it wierd that I really want peaches now?

PS. US guys or citizens or anybody eligible to vote, get out and vote dammit! For any of the candidates, or Don Rosa, or even Paris... Just vote! It's democracy for you... :)

Peaches' sucks

Yes. Yes she does. And I'm totally playing the role of the best friend here, pushing her to go get that damn milk. Have you ever heard of such an observed thing such as Peaches, MY Peaches, being scared of such a small thing as a flirt in a food-store?

Obviously the boy (yes it's a boy) with the beautiful eyes has got it in for her. But she's talking about rushing things. Ah, sweetie, that's not the way things goes.

As I said to her over the phone not two minutes ago; Hun, you need to get laid.

Okay, maybe not physically, but rather mentally. Yeah, you need a mental fuck, whatever that might be.

Now I must apologise for my crude language, but a girl (yes I'm a girl) can only take so much.

Camilla out.

Troublemaker... and cold spots

Peaches here...

I just got cut off early in my daily phone shop time with Camilla :(... Just to clarify, I quite miss her.

So the day then? Well, as you might have heard the years are swooshing by and now this big circle of friends have become classified as official adults... Okay, sure, that's wishful thinking, it happened a couple of years ago. One of those dear friends hit the twenty-five mark almost a year ago (so I could have just said is almost reaching twenty-six, but hey that'd have been too mathematical for me), and I just spent some well needed phone time with her. Turns out a lot has changed in the months Peaches here has been attempting to be doing 'big changing things' a couple of countries away.

See, she is thinking about marriage. You know, wedding bands and dresses and cards... And of course, most importantly (to some ppl), the other person... Sometimes I can't help but wonder if this is a topic the boys simply do not think about all that much. There must be a reason it comes up in so many conversations between girls! Apart from the fact that we are culturally imprinted to be whiny/lacking in self-esteem/boob-and-wrinkles paranoid. Anyways, not the point.

This whole marriage thing. They are complete opposites, and they have had ups and downs that have landed tears and laughter within minutes of each other. I have called him a looser (which I will not include in my wedding toast) and she has called him... many things. Including safe. And a boy. Because at the end of the day, she wants a boy. The security of someone who wants you. Plus a career.

Don't get me wrong, these are all good things. If it's real, bloody 'ell I hope I have grown enough to know to hold onto that if it does swing by my life.... It makes me start to wonder though, what will I tell her when we're on the phone and she is crying again. Will I even be the one she calls, or will I have moved so far away that I remember our fights better than our friendship?

Sorry, a bit too serious a posting... I will lighten it up by sharing with ya'll that I today made a very important conclusion with regards to cold, food, tea bags, and winter jackets. If you are shaking and forget your name while answering the phone (at work), and your solution is to work steam therapy with your throat and the tea-pot, you may feel a slight bit of nausea that will result in a lack of lunch and sitting huddled in a corner wearing a winter jacket while humming songs in foreign languages... (still at work)

I am off to take a shower now... Just, you know, keeping you informed.

Stay safe out there...
....Peaches


Why is it we never settle for the simple things, before it's too late...

Good morning Baltimore!

Yes, this is Camilla! You might just have guessed.
What am I doing home at 10 am at a schoolday, you might ask? Or not, if you don't know my schedule. well, apparently I don't even know my schedule, because even though I thought I had to be in school by now it seems I don't start for another 2 hours.

What to do, what to do...

Well, I'm sitting here studying! Or, well...more like I have my book infront of me, but also my computer and my watercolours...

You can probably see where I'm going with this equation.

I might add some food into it just for the heck of it.

I just got of the phone with my dear Peaches. My love, my little pony.

...yeah, you heard me!

It seems the world has decided to grow cold on both of us, but I can promise some cuddles and alot of warmth next week. That is love for you.

Well, the bahroom is calling, so I had better get going.

Cam out.

Nine to five...

.... Peaches here.

Who just spent a good ten minutes on writing a long damned whiny and grouchy darksided posting. And then it vanished! Just like that. Oh well, back to my original ramblings... Work. And people who manage to be creative afterwards.

Admit is, you've heard the stories. Those guys who do their day time jobs for 8+ hours, then come home, and spend half the nights writing... Or painting... Or researching... Being creative, and realizing their dreams. They spend the time practicing and putting 'The End' signs at the bottom of the pag... Ehrm... their projects.

I want to write down a 'The End' sign! I want to spend my nights typing away! Except... I'm exhausted. All I really want to do at the end of the day (six thirty if I'm lucky) is crawl down in my freezing bed, eat Ben & Jerry's (when affordable, i.e. once every second month), and watch bad TV. On the computer... Because who, really, affords a TV these days!

Oh...

When I had essay or exam dates I could pull all nighters. Okay, so maybe I spent two and a half hours out of a five hour exam trying to remember how to spell my last name... But to my defense I have a very complicated last name...

Bottom line, though, is that I cannot seem to get any 'The end' signs down. I spend the mornin hours all positive and with these big decisions on how this evening I will actually get something done. And then I get home, and there is this darkness slowly creeping into the field of vision. I like my job, I actually do (although I have no money in my accounts, if the minus mark doesn't count, and nine to five really means something different, AND if I'd keep doing this exact job for another couple of years I'd...). But imagine ten years from now, when I turn thirty and have joined Mr. air-Guitar-hero outside the grocery store in our search for the perfect 1 cent, and there are still no 'The end' signs!

It's six fudging letters!

Anyways, I gotta go now. I have TV to watch and chocolate to eat... And books on the floor to ignore... Who said studying ended when you got out of school? Naah, see that's when you realized your degree was, accidentally, in the completely wrong subjects, and you have to do it all over again. On your own. While working. Because school is expensive. And because people always say stupid things like "sure hun, that's great, but for real now... what do you REALLY want to do with your life? Something... realistic sweetie." Then they pinch your cheeks, sweetly.

Then there's certain people * points* who are able to get stuff done, and spend hours actually being creative, and pick degrees they actually like! Some people are just born ass-kickers... and muffin bakers!

happy (dirty) dreams

Peaches

Camilla here. I must say, breaking up is easy enough. I have done it once if you count "love". (however you would like to use that strange word) Now I have done it career-wise.

Is it that bad of me that I don't want to go to work? I have tried it out a couple of times now, along with the time two years ago. Yes I have tried, I have suceeded and most of all; I have failed.

So, despite the lack of money (a thing that is very annoying, i must say) I am very happy. Well, it's not like I don't have other things to do...mostly things to read. You see, I am one of those highly comfortable creatures who likes to have a higher education while living at my parents place...otherwise called "home". Yes I do like to lable things, thank you for asking.

Amongst this higher education I include studying for myself and studying for society. Well, society wants me to study for an exam, to read two novels and to write two essays...amongst other things. I have long wondered when the h*ll I had planned to have time for a thing called "work".

SOME people...by a consequence people who are younger then me, but who seem to have it in them to turn 20 on thursday next week, yeah, them people already have their degree. still struggling though, but in a better way than I am.

Still I won't let people (not the same people as in the last paragrap, mind you) think less of me because I find time to be more valuable then money.

Conversations...

Peaches- Morning love

Camilla - Doom beyond doom

Peaches- Like, more doom than usual?

Camilla- Hahahaha!!! XD

Peaches- dude, there're unicorns shooting stuff out of their bottom. I.... don't remember why I'm awake...

oh... right... work... I need more chocolate!

Camilla - WTF? Work? Why the h*ll am I working when I could be doing more constructive things with my precious time?

...like...eating chocolate...

...or drawing...

and eating chocolate at the same time

Peaches- Or... watching... that... you know.. the un-nameable show.
while eating chocolate
...
Do you think... we should be at all concerned with our chocolate eats intake?

Camilla - ...no, why?

Peaches- No reason, just that weird guy, with the stethoscope, he was saying something about healthy foods... Like, you know, that... green stuff. like, smoothies!

So, any thoughts on the future?

Camilla- Uh...whatever. I just gotta go...do stuff...like....school...

Peaches- Right... True. I mean, we've got years until... Oh, actually, hold that thought. I'm getting a call from the people collecting my rent. I think they noticed the minus 100 on my account...

Camilla- hah! Whatever. So the thing is. I just gotta go jump of off a bridge because I'm not as talented as the rest of the world and I'm going to end up on the streets with my pet-toothbrush.

Peaches- No you won't... The IRS will take your tooth brush. And the street corner. But that's okay, you can stay with me... In my box!

...x:s & o:s...

P & A